CINTA ? SAYANG ? TIADA LAGI :3

SAYANG ?
CINTA ?
Tak ada sudah semua tu dalam kehidupan ku :)

Aku kecewa , Aku sakit hati , Aku sedih , Aku menangis , Aku kehilangan ,
Aku juga yang selama ni tanggung sorang diri !
Mana ex ku yang selama ne kata mahu sehidup semati dengan aku ?
Ndaa da kan ? :(
Time aku masih perlukan kamu , kamu tinggal kan aku sendiri .
Dulu macam-2 janji manis di tabur kan , sekarang hanya tinggal kenangan !

Aku bodoh sebab berikan segala kasih sayang dan cinta ku untuk kamu sehingga aku sanggup berharap dan diduakan .

Aku pun bodoh sebab percaya kan kamu dengan sepenuh hati sampai aku yang terluka .
Tiada lagi lelaki yang aku rasa boleh buat CINTA tu indah di mata ku .

Btw , masa ndaa boleh di ulang .

Andai masa boleh di ulang , aku mahu satu jak .

Aku ndaa mahu kenal erti kasih dan sayang di dalam kehidupan ni :)

Biarlah ndaa wujud cinta dalam kehidupan ku andai sakit dan perih jak yang aku rasa .

# Cinta hanya bisa buat seseorang tu hidup dalam angan-angan yang sentiasa mahu kan kebahagiaan .
Tapi , kesedihan dan kekecewaan juga yang akhirnya datang tanpa di undang :)

My Beloved Bestfriend ♥

Aku nak cerita ni tentang BESTIES ku :)

APIS & FAIZ <3

Supaya di antara kami tak ada salah faham lagi :)

Apis <3

Aku sudah b'kawan baik dengan apis dari form 1 lagi 

Kami kenal pun dari ex-boyfie ku c Faizrul .

Lepas aku break dengan Faizrul , Apis lagi jadi boyfriend ku . HAHA .

Tapi kesian dia ! Aku terima dia pun time aku sudah form 3 .

Dia tunggu aku selama 2 tahun dari mula aku masih couple dengan Faizrul lagi .

Apis lah orang yang selalu ada untuk aku di saat aku susah and senang .

Dulu , time aku ada couple , dia tetap paling rapat dengan aku .

Sampai boyfriend aku pun jealous semacam dengan kami sampai tuduh aku dengan Apis ada hubungan . HAHA

Btw , dia rapat dengan aku pun ada sebab .

Sebab dia mahu jaga aku :) hehe

Walaupun kadang-2 dia menyakitkan hati , tapi dia juga yang selalu buat aku bahagia .

Dia lah tempat aku meluah , dari dulu sampai sekarang .

Terlampau banyak sudah masa nya habis terbuang hanya untuk aku . aiseh xP

Tapi aku bersyukur sebab dialah kawan yang terbaik yang pernah aku ada .

Thanks Apis :*

Faiz <3

Aku b'kawan dengan faiz masa sekolah rendah and kami sama-2 mewakili sekolah dalam Kejohanan Sukan MSSDT .

Tapi aku mula besties dengan Faiz time dia couple dengan Oyen time form 2 dulu .

Aku lah jadi orang tengah di antara dorang dua . HAHAHA xP

Faiz , tempat aku meluah banyak hal t'masuk pasal aku sama MR R.I . hehe .

Faiz pun sama , apa yang terjadi dalam kehidupan nya , semua kami KONGSI BERSAMA .

Itukan nama nya SAHABAT ? xP

Kami juga selalu sama-2 di sekolah sampai ada yang bilang kami ni couple .

SWEEEET semacam kunun . adui naaa !

Ameeeeh ! macam-2 jak mulut dorang tu . tapi ndaa apa lah , mulut manusia mana boleh di tutup untuk tidak mengata yang bukan-2 .

Orang yang tiada kerja jak tu suka cakap-2 kami n mahu putus kan hubungan baik kami .

Yang penting kami tahu hubungan kami sebenar cuma sebagai seorang BESTFRIEND :)

Yang penting , kami tetap akan b'kawan baik sampai bila-2 :) :*

# Aku memang sayang APIS and FAIZ ! Sayang sangat-2 . Tapi tak lebih dari itu .

Aku anggap diorang macam abang and sahabat ku selamanya :)

Jangan lah jealous tentang hubungan baik kami , k ? 

Yang selalu b'anggapan aku ma apis n faiz tu couple , STOP IT lah .

Aku sudah buat pengakuan di sini supaya tak ada lagi cerita-2 BODOH yang kamu buat tuh .

Okey ?

Bye semua :*

Menanti mu dengan penuh kesabaran Mr R.I ♥

Dear Blogger , sorry tak layan kau berapa lama ne . Jahat kan aku ne blog , time susah jak cari kau . Aku betul-2 perlukan kau saat ne -.- kau lah SAHABAT ku yg masih kekal dgn aku :(

-.-

Dear Blogger , aku nak ctau ne , aku BREAK sudah sama c MR. R.I !!!Dha 11 hari aku dgn dia tak dah apa-2 .Dalam masa 11 hari ne juga , banyak betul aku rasa sakit . Sakit di tinggalkan , sakit sebab asthma  :(

Blog , MR.R.I tinggalkan aku macam aku ni teda perasaan langsung .

Aku mengaku memang aku banyak salah selama ni kat dia .

Tapi semua ni bukan kemahuan n kehendak ku biarkan dia tersiksa .

Kalau btl aku ne sengaja biarkan dia tersiksa , knp aku pun tersiksa juga ? HAH !

Aku heran knp dia tetiba berubah bgne -.-

Time aku sudah mulai b'sikap jujur , setia , sayang dia .

DIA TINGGALKAN AKU ! :'(

Baru tuh dalam keadaan bgne , aku teda kwn , teda tempat mengadu .

Dia tahu juga tu selama ne dia lah tempat aku lepaskan semua perasaan q ?

Tapi sekarang teda tempat aku mengadu >.<

SAKIT BETUL AKU SIMPAN SEMUA NE DALAM HATI !!! :'(

Gara-2 dia juga , aku selalu buat perkara BODOH !

Aku kerat tangan ku ,

Aku menangis pikir dia siang malam sampai x cukup tido ,

Aku asthma tapi tak makan ubat ,

Bersendirian macam orang bodoh ,

Jarang makan ,

Dgn cara begini jak aku boleh lepaskan semua yg terpendam walaupun sekejap :'(

Kalau aku baca balik semua sms yg dia send kat aku time kami break ne , memang amat MENYAKITKAN ! :'(

dia buat aku macam teda perasaan langsung !

Semua kesalahan dia letak kan aku .

Sedangkan dia tak tahu apa yg aku korbankan selama ne :(

Memang aku terok tak layan dia .

Tapi aku betul-2 tak boleh contact dia .

Dia tak tanya pun kenapa dengan aku time tuh .

Terus jak buang aku bgtu :'(

♥

MR. R.I selalu b'anggapan yg dia b'tepuk sebelah tangan -.-

Tapi dia salah !

Aku selalu ada untuk m'bunyikan tepukan tangan nya .

Dia jak yg tak pernah tahu tentang aku semenjak kami couple ne .

Memang aku banyak berubah , tapi semua nya berubah tuk kebaikan hubungan kami :)

Aku mula belajar jujur walaupun itu menyakiti dia ,

Aku mula belajar setia time b'sama dia ,

Aku banyak berkorban dalam diam hanya tuk pertahankan hubungan kamu ,

Tapi sayang , dia tak pernah tahu semua ne :)

Aku tak pernah salahkan dia tuduh aku x menghargai cinta nya dia , sebab aku tahu dia rasa dia tak d sayang selama ne, tak d hargai .

Tapi yang pasti , aku amat amat amat menghargai cinta nya selama ne walaupun aku yg b'tepuk sebelah tangan sekarang ! ♥

Mr R.I

Aku tak pernah benci atau marah kau tinggalkan aku .

Tapi kenapa kau tinggalkan aku dalam keadaan aku masih perlukan kau ?

Aku memang masih berharap kau datang semula untuk kembali ma aku .

Aku berharap sangat kita couple balik :D

Nak tahu tak , aku sedih n t'siksa sangat time kau ctau kwn mu yg kau tak kn bg peluang lagi tuk aku n kau teda perasaan suda ma ak :'(

Cepat nya kau lupakan aku !

Sedih aku kau buat aku bgne .

11 hari sdh aku menangis tok kau !!!
Air mata ku nee murah betul juga sampai ndak pandai b'henti mengalir :'(

Kalau kau bagi aku peluang terakhir , aku janji takkan sia-2 kan kau lagi .

Aku janji takkan dengar kongkongan orang lain agik :)
PENANTIAN MEMANG SUATU PENYIKSAAN
Aku tahu EGO mu sekarang tinggi dari KLCC tuh ! kankan ?
Tu lah kemaafan untuk aku tiada .

Walaupun aku pasti kau takkan terima aku lagi , AKU TETAP BERHARAP ! :'(
Ndak salah kan kalau aku b'harap cinta mu untuk aku ? :(

Mungkin Allah tengah memberi dugaan sama aku untuk mengharungi semua ne sorang diri kan ?

Allah bagi dugaan tuh sebab Dia yakin hamba nya mampu lakukan :)

Dengan penuh kesabaran dengan tangisan , aku tetap tunggu Mr R.I aku yg dulu jemput aku :'(

I miss you so much & I love you damn much ! :'(

♥ fall in love with you ♥

I LOVE YOU BAH ! :'(

tolong lha dengar apa yg aku cakap tuh -,-

aku betul-2 ndak maw kehilangan kau :(

aku takut kau d AMIK ORG !

time aku perlukan kau , msti kau ndak dha .

kau selalu busy , teda masa utk aku .

kau x pernah pikir aku , x pena ingt aku .

kalo lah d bg pilihan , aku maw kw taw yg aku SYG btl sama kau !

tp kau ndak SYG aku bha kan ? :'(

but , aku maw hbgn kita kekal smpai bila-2 bha ,

wlu apa pon relationship kita :)

time aku bosan menunggu kau :')

I LOVE YOU BOOOO :*

♥ SAD STORY ♥

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers. However, we love each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“I can’t”

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.

“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till the 100th day… 200th day… Everyday before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day… 

Me: Um, Jin, I…

Jin: What… Don’t drag, just say...

Me: I love you.

Jin: ...You... Um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday filled my room, one by one. There were many…

Then one day my 15th year old birthday arrived. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him. Hence I stayed at home in my room and waited for his call. Lunch passed... Dinner passed… And soon the sky was dark… He still didn’t call. I was already tired from looking at the phone for the whole day. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…

Jin: Here… Take this…

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What’s this?

Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what day is today?

Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt devastated, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted…

 “Wait…”

Jin: You have something to say?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…

Jin: What?!

Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. 

But he simply said, “I don’t want to say that I love someone so easily... If you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”

That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he… At that moment, I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…

After that day, I found myself stranded at home crying everyday. He didn’t call me even though I waited for his call. He continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… Everyday.

After a month, I pull myself together and went to school. But the pain resurfaced when I saw him on a street with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room. Tears fell… Why did he give these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls… In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him and this is going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn’t help hating himfor acting like nothing had happened and making a joke out of it. Soon, he held out the doll as usual to hand it over to me.

Me: I don’t need it. 

Jin: What? Why?

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again! 

I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, he was shaking.

“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Me: You are so stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me as he squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Jin, move!” HONK~!!

“Boom!” A terrifying sound rang through the whole neighbourhood..

That’s how he left me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.

Since that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and sadness of losing him.

 After spending two months in despair, I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the number days when we were in love…

“One… Two… Three…” That was how I started to count the dolls…

“Four hundred and eighty four… Four hundred and eighty five…” It ended with 485 dolls.

I started to cry again with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly and then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the doll in shock.

“I…. lo..ve… you??” I picked up the doll and pressed it's stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls on their stomachs.

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop. I… love you… Why didn’t I realize that? His heart was always by my side protecting me! Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much? I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach. That was the last doll. The one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. I recognized the voice that I was missing so much.

“Jo… Do you know what day is today? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… Since I was too shy… If you will forgive me and take this doll, I will say I love you everyday till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of my eyes. Why? Why? I asked god. Why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side but he loved me until his last minute…

For that reason… To me… It became courage… To live a beautiful life.

If you love someone, let him/her know. Live a life bravely and truthfully and you will have no regrets.

♥ Apis Panda Pantart ♥

PANDA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! ♥

semoga bahagia selalu d samping keluarga t'sayang :)

semoga panjang umur dan murah binik , eh salah , murah rezeki . hehe :P

aku harap panda berubah jadi yg t'baik ! ♥

sayang lah kau panda ! HAHA .

panda ingatkan nee gambar ? -,-

time kita bestfriend and time nee panda suka aku selama 2 years kta kwn tp panda ndk kasetaw sma sepa-2 , hnya panda yg taw kn ? hehe .

ne sume tinggal kenangan :'(

PANDA , aku rindu dulu time kita BESTFRIEND ! :'(

aku rindu tiap hari marah-2 kaw :(

aku rindu time kaw marah-2 aku sbb aku kuat jalan :(

aku rindu time kita lepak-2 d taman :(

aku rindu dengar kau nyanyi lagu "ku ingin kamu" dgn suara panda yg sdey tuh :(

aku rindu time panda menangis sbb aku sambung balek sma c ******* :(

aku rindu time panda pandang aku dgn bijik mata panda yg bulat tuh :(

aku rindu time panda buat senyuman yg mereng sebelah tuh :(

PANDA I'M SORRY ! :'(

ne sume salah aku kn sbb x tau yg panda suka aku .

tnpa pengetahuan aku , aku telah sakiti hati panda sbb aku couple sama c **** .

sume tuh sbb aku ndk taw yg panda skak aku .

sume ne ndk akn b'laku kalo panda ndk kase taw sma aku yg panda syg aku :(

AKU JAHAT kn panda sbb x ingat kau sda ? time aku ada mslh sma c **** n c ******* aku cari panda .

PANDA LAH YG MENGERTI AKU :'(

panda ndk maw tgk ak ngs :(

panda lap air mata aku :(

panda bawa aku jalan-2 p taman tgk bintang :(

pokok nya , panda lh yg selalu tenangkan atie q :)

MAKASEH PANDA ! ♥

lama kelamaan , panda mengaku jg kn yg panda sdh lama syg aku ? hehe :P

TAPI :'(

time kita fez couple , panda trus berubah :(

KENAPA ? :'(

panda ndk syg aku kh sdh sbb sda lama tunggu aku ? :(

aku tau ne sume salah aku sbb x taw yg panda syg ak :(

AKU X LEH LUPAKAN & XKN PERNAH LUPAKAN TIME PANDA COUPLE SAMA C B***** !

biarpun panda couple satu jam sak sma dy sbb time tuh aku dpt kn baca 1 xmx kamu yg t'tinggal kn ? . hehe

KANTOI kn panda ? HAHA .

bru panda tau ctu aku kerjakn panda habis-habisan :P

[ adek-2 q sak taw apa yg aku bwt sma panda kn ? HAHA ]

SUMPAH panda ! smpai skg aku mase sket atie .

SEKARANG baru panda taw kn mcm mn sakit nya kalo sda d syg btl-2 baru tuh d duakn ? MAKAN MU TUH BALASAN DARI AKU ! HAHA :D

TAPI panda , aku maw mohon ampun dan maaf sbb selalu kase kaw marah-2 , kase sket atie mu , kankan ?

SORRY byk-2 ya panda ? :)

aku harap kita bahagia mcm dulu kn ? [ dlm mimpi ] HAHA

kalo d bg peluang , aku maw perbaiki balek ksalahan yg prnh aku buat dlu .

panda pon gtu kn ? :)

I LOVE YOU

my bestfriend , my boyfriend , my hubby , my ex hubby !

muaaaaaahx ♥ babye :')

F.U.C.K!

^_^

skg ne , teda sda org yg ak shyunk sma ak .

dea sda pegi .

pergi jauuuuuuuuuuuuuh ! [ mati sdah :) ]

sbb ata org ke-3 , kami BREAAAAK !

byk kwn2 x pcya yg kami bole break , knp eya ?

TAPI , AKU SNDRI NDAK PERCAYA YG KAMI BOLE BREAK !

maw taw knp ? sbb slma ne kami rapat btl .

kalo org tgk kmi , mcm bahagia sak tp mmg btl pon kami bagia .

but now , KAMI TAK BERSAMA LAGI ♥

♥♥♥

yeaaaaah ! edup q akan jdi seperti dulu lagy :)

APIS sdah hancurkan harapan aku tuk b'sma dea lagy .

biarpun dea maw blek sma ak , ak xkn pena pecayakn dea lg !

SEKALI APIS BWT GNEE SMA AK , AK XKN PENA SDA PECAYA DEA !

sume ny sda ata dpn mata yg dea tuh K.A.M.A.K ! ♥ [ laki-2 mcm tuh yg ak skak , haha ]

aku takkan pernah lupakan ne sume :D

^_^  aku akan mulakan hidup aku seperti dulu lagi . HOOORAYYYY ! ♥

♥♥♥A K U B E N C I K A U♥♥♥

missing you :(

Nothing else compares to you .

Nothing else can take your place .

Not a single moment is the same without you .

Not a single day goes without you .

I'm writing this poem just so you know .

I am thinking of you always .

EVEN RIGHT NOW !

^^iwantyouback!

♥IMISSYOUDEAR♥

dear , i really miss you =(

I don't know where I stand with you . And I don't know what I mean to you . All I know is that very time I think of you . All I wanna do is be with you .

# i want you change yourself as before =(

♥ SINGLE ♥

yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !
mulakan hidup baru tanpa dia ♥
SINGLE IS MINE ^-^

everything definitely will end ♥

t'lampau penat sdh aku dgn gayak mu nee >.<

tetaw maw ckp apa sdh spya kw berubah .

skrg dri kaw seja kalo kw mase maw sma ak taw ndak .

byk btl sdah ak tlg kw , tp kaw mase ndk pndai tima kase sma ak .

tetap jg KAWAN mu yg t'baik d mata mu bha . HAIZ !

tetaw cmna lg ak maw bwt spya kw HARGAI KASEH SHYUNK ak ! :'(

kalo t'pksa ak break sma kaw pon , ak BERSERAH sak .

ASALKAN KAU BAHAGIA !

skg ak mase bg kaw pluang tuk b'ubah tp kalo prangai mu mase mcm taek , t'pksa lh ak undur diri .

ak ndk sgp d lukai lg T-T

tp yg psti HUBUNGAN kta psti akan BERAKHIR KELAK :)

Love This Moment ♥

♥ panda + bucuk ♥

aQ ngn hubby Q b'crita2 sal msa lalu bh . bhusan kmi ! huhu -,- tetaw np tetibe ak soal dea . ameeeh ! XD LUCU btui tuh DIALOG aQ wat . wkaka :)) >.<

bucuk ♥ Do you love me ?

panda ♥ Yes , I love you .

bucuk ♥ Why you love me ?

panda ♥ Because , , , , , I LOVE YOU !

love until dead ♥

I never thought that LOVE was true until the day i meet you ,, and when i meet you all my dreams came true .. so please love me like I LOVE YOU ♥


Having you in my life , makes everything so special and beautiful .


I LOVE YOU , not because of what you have but because of what i feel .
I CARE for YOU , not because you need care but because i want to.
I'M always here for YOU , not because i want you to be with me but because i want to be with you .


I LOVE YOU more than any word can say .
I LOVE YOU more than every action i take .
I'll be right here loving you until the end .


Never ask why I LOVE YOU , just accept that i do , and that i will for the rest of my life .


my LOVE to you is everlasting .
It will never grow old and it will never fade away .
I will forever love you !


If I had to choose between breathing and loving you , I would use my last breath to tell you I LOVE YOU !


If you want to know how much I LOVE YOU , look into my eyes with your heart open .


I LOVE YOU for being you and the way you make me feel when I'M WITH YOU .

LOVE can CHANGE happy TO unhappy ♥

LOVE = We think about it , dream about it , lose sleep worrying about it . When we don't have it , we search for it and when we discover it , we don't know what to do with it  . We fear losing it . It is our source of pleasure and pain but we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next . It's a short word , easy to spell , difficult to define and IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE WITHOUT LOVE .

LOVE ALWAYS MAKE US HURT !

; like the saying goes,

♥ Its no use crying over spilt milk.

♥ Let by gones be by gones.

♥ Every cloud has a silver lining.

♥ Once bitten twice shy one good turn deserves another.